22/07/2013

Monday July 22^nd 2013 was a pretty good day for me. Not only was it my birthday, but clever K-Mids and Baby-Cambridge (literally just announced to be called George) decided to reinforce the fact that it’s an excellent day for birthing. Congratulations Kate and Wills! I will now share my birthday with the future King of England*!

Their emergence from the hospital yesterday evening was pretty cute and they did indeed look rather happy. I did however, pick up on Wills’ comment along the lines of 'we've only just met him, this is a very special time' which I interpreted as ‘we’ve done out bit by showing you our baby, now please do your bit and give us some space and privacy!’ which I think is fair enough. I feel quite sorry for them and really do think that the media coverage is slightly excessive. Then again I think that certain articles such as this one are just unnecessary. I’m pretty certain that given the choice, they wouldn’t want any of this hype and they certainly haven’t asked for it. They simply want to enjoy some time with their newborn, like any brand new parents would! I think it would be wonderful if we could give them a bit of space, but also if people who are bitter / ‘pitying’ of the royals / whatever they want to call it, could just pipe down. If you don’t like the media frenzy, ignore it and go and read a good book. It will have died down soon enough.

*Not to put a downer on the mood at all, but wouldn’t it have been just a teensy bit more interesting if it had been a girl?! History would have been made, as she would have been Queen, regardless of brother or not!

100% of readers of this blog think it’s a cracker!*

Ah the power of marketing and advertising. Even though I like to think of myself as smart, uneasily influenced and resistant to glossy print advertising and super tv ads, I do sometimes find myself in Boots heading to the till with that super swish newly launched mascara that will definitely give me the ‘falsies’ effect – after all, ‘99% of users agree’!

It is 100% true, that most beauty product related ads aimed at females, have a strap line along the lines of “90% of testers” or “9 out of 10 testers” were overjoyed with the product, would use it again and even recommend it to their bff. Wow, must be a super product!

Indicating that 99% of testers were very happy to recommend the product sounds great. I immediately envisage masses upon masses of women all running to their local Boots to snap up said mascara. Then they’ll all run straight home and put it on and POW have fabulously fluttering lashes. Men will go weak at the knees and before we know it the likes of Sushi Samba, The Oblix and any other London venue du jour will be unable to process the magnitude in couples wanting a table for a hot date. I MUST have this mascara.

BUT what we don’t usually know, or wouldn’t even think to consider, is the number of ‘testers’ that were actually asked about the product. We all went through the painful and seemingly pointless process of learning all about proportions and ratios at school and now would be a good time to advocate that accumulated knowledge..! I remember once being suitably impressed with a strong endorsement for a new mascara; 93% of customers who tried said mascara loved it and thought that it was the bees’ knees. Pretty impressive, must be worth the money! Then I read the itty bitty details. The sample size of testers was 7. Yes, seven.

 

So obviously this is an exaggeration, but you get the jist. Companies are quite content with pulling the wool over the eyes of their poor, loyal consumers who perhaps don’t have a strong understanding of sample sizes and reliability… God damn it maybe they simply trust the brand!

When companies were originally forced to start disclosing the evidence for their sometimes amazingly abstract claims, the idea was for customers to receive the clarity they deserve. Now somewhere along the line, thanks to some sly marketing fox that is probably now giggling into his gold, this has gone walkabout. I think that perhaps it’s time to put the issue up for discussion… Even if companies are merely ‘encouraged’ as opposed to forced to use a reliable sample size, one company will hopefully do so and set the standard. Not asking for a lot here pals, simply some truth… I can’t afford all of these new mascaras!!

*Sample size: 1

Over the hills & far away, Teletubbies come to play..

The Metro (London) on Tuesday May 14^th: “Without a doubt, the UK is leading the world in pre-school programming with shows from Teletubbies to Peppa Pig.”

Pardon?

Now I have yet to experience the delights of Peppa Pig for myself, but I have indeed seen the Teletubbies. And world leading they are not… “eh-oh”

I think I was about 6 or 7 when they first appeared on the small screen and yes, I did have a brief but deep love for them. I even saved up my pocket money for a couple of weeks in order to be able to buy my very own version of Lala. Sadly my mama dear was not a big fan of the Teletubbies and was far from keen on my delight in their antics. She simply explained that such a program would lead to “verblödung” (like ‘schadenfreude’, this is one of those amazing words, which captures an entire English expression in one word. It simply means that ‘watching this program will make you dumb’)

So why is the Metro implying that programs like the Teletubbies are world leading? Perhaps because otherwise, we’d have to admit to ourselves that if our kiddiwinks weren’t watching the Teletubbies, then they would probably be playing on Dad’s/Mum’s/Granny’s/(god forbid) their own iPads.

Go and play in the dirt girls and boys!

Goodbye Maggie

Monday 8th April 2013 was a sad day. My sister's horse got diagnosed with fatal kidney failure, a family friend's dog fell off a balcony and will probably be paralysed and Margaret Thatcher died. While the larger percentage of the world won't be bothered in the slightest about the tragic fate of the horse or the dog, Maggie's death has had a somewhat bigger effect on the general public.

In all honesty I don't know nearly as much about her policies and changes as I'd like to.. (even after watching The Iron Lady..) For me personally, she's interesting because her era was announced by Saatchi + Saatchi's iconic ad 'Labour isn't working.' An ad straight to the point that met the country's emotional needs. (Or "a truth, well told" according to a competing agency). In terms of PR, she was definitely a major media mortal whose image was honed and toned by some of the brilliantly best in the business; her PM public image was definitely different from the earlier Minister of Education Margaret! A true media madam.

But that's not the point.

I am such a spring chicken, that I wasn't even born when she finished her run as Britain's Iron Lady. Therefore I feel that I am in no great position to judge whether she was good or bad. Of course with my astute graduate level analytical skills, I can analyse whether her policies and decisions benefitted Britain in the long run.. paha. However I really cannot comment on her affect on Britain at the time. Let alone judge her as a person!

And sadly that is exactly what people are doing... The Tab Nottingham reported that there was cheering at the NUS (National Union of Students) delegate meeting on the news of her death, on Saturday night there was a 'Thatcher's Dead' party on Trafalgar Square in London and The Wizard of Oz's 'Ding Dong the witch is dead' song threatened to make it to Number 1 in the official UK charts.

Literally, say whaaa? This simply is not ok! Regardless of who she is, she was a wife / mother etc etc ie. she has family and they've just lost someone they love. When did it ever become acceptable to cheer a death?? Sadly I think that this situation is pretty much the same as the August Riots in 2011.. Oh look, a situation has arisen that allows us to behave like morons.

I really really do hope that people will pull themselves together at her funeral tomorrow and pay the  deceased Marmite Maggie (people seem to either hate or love her..) the respect she deserves.

Oscars 2k13

Sunday 24th February 2013:
*Jennifer Lawrence (aged 22 and a bit) won an Oscar for best actress and celebrated deep into the night. Wearing Dior.
*Lisa Neiss (aged 21 and a bit) watched a bit of TV and went to bed. Wearing spotty pyjamas.

At least Quavenzhane Wallis (aged 9 and a bit) didn't win. Go and play in the sandpit.

But no, I am no cynic.

The gowns were gorgeous and the dancing delightful. Charlize and Channing, I didn't know you had it in you! And Adele winning her little Oscar.. very much deserved! Oh and Jennifer Anniston in her Valentino. Valentino you god. Despite being the 85th ceremony, the 2013 Oscars were like every year.. fun to watch for the glitz, the glamour and the grandeur.

21

So on 21.12.2012 the world is going to end. (Correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t it be more poetic is it was the 20.12.2012 or the 21.12.2112?)

If I had lots of time left (and was as sceptical about my future as the Mayans are being) I would obviously create a personal list of 21 things to do before the 21^st while aged 21. Sadly there’s not much time left before the 21^st so I’ll condense the list to 10 things I’d like to do…

 1.  Spend a day frolicking in London with all my nearest and dearest – art galleries, restaurants and shopping galore!

2. Host a delightfully lavish dinner party (à remembering that money isn’t an issue, I won’t be needing any anymore anyway, so I’d really splurge!)

3. Invite someone I’ve been meaning to get in contact with for ages but haven’t to said dinner part

4. Invite someone excessively outrageous to said dinner party, purely for entertainment

5. Cook ALL the food for ALL the courses from scratch for said dinner party

6. Skype call the person furthest away from me in the world right now

7. Read a novel in a whole sitting without leaving the sofa (only to go to the loo)

8. Buy a Celine Boston bag

9. Go for a ride / on a hack with my sister dear

10. Spend an evening in front of the fire with magazines and books and a cup of tea. And someone to give me a shoulder massage.

A right royal baby!

Congratulations Kate & Wills, 'our' royal baby is on the way!! Some may whinge that they took their time, but honestly (not that it's any of our business really...) they really couldn't have timed it better... 2012 was the year of the British, but the birth of Baby Wales / Windsor in will ensure that Britain will stays firmly on the global radar into 2013!

On another note, maternity clothing is going to develop a WHOLE new royal concept! Oh and gutted for K-Mids that she won't be having Champers and Mulled Wine this Christmas though..

With my fingers in lots of pies

I've always been a huge Ab Fab fan. Such fun! Like most women, I can definitely sometimes relate to Eddy. Perhaps more than I'd like to admit..! But there are certain quotes that definitely strike a chord for me, such as:

Eddy: "I've got my hands in loads of pies darling. Darling! Sweetie! EDDY PIE HANDS!"

While neither Eddy nor myself literally have our hands in loads of pies (I've never been a pie person..) Eddy is obviously referring to metaphorical pies - the variety of jobs, projects and businesses she's got on the go. And this is the pickle I'm sort of finding myself in at the moment. 

I finished university in the summer; with a good degree, from a good university. As an English and History graduate my opportunities are endless, which is great! Fab. So far I've interned in journalism, marketing, PR, event managing and am hoping to also do a publishing internship... 

So far I've really enjoyed all of my placements and could easily have stayed on in each job. But when do I specialise? When do I choose? HOW do I choose?  Can I be an event planning, marketing, journalism PR consultant? Gah. The opportunities are just too many! So many men jobs, so little time. 

Munney munney munney

A while ago, I read Sebastian Faulks’ novel A Week in December and surprisingly enjoyed it. When people saw what I was reading the usual comment was ‘oh it’s no way near as good as Birdsong’ and perhaps it’s not as good to some, but it’s kind of in a different league. But that’s not the point of why I’m writing this. The novel deals with various characters and their storylines, all set in London and inevitably all overlapping, all taking place within a December week in 2007. Pretty much 99% of the characters are exceptionally wealthy. While I think it’s fair to say I know a fair share of well-off folk, the lot in this novel are of a whole other league; apparently if you have under £10 million in the bank, you’re not the ‘norm’. Fairs to them I guess, as most of these characters made their millions themselves. No sign of inheritance. 

What’s sad though, is the fact that of these 99% of smug millionaires about 2% are happy. They have all the luxuries of the world at their fingertips and still they’re alcoholics, drug addicts and quite honestly complete freaks. Usually I wouldn’t have thought twice about it and put it down to the whole money can’t buy happiness blah blah cliché. This time however, it was a bit different. As I was reading A Week in December, Eva Rausing’s death was being splattered all over the media. Especially the Daily Mail absolutely LOVED telling us all about how ‘out of control’ and quite simply ‘a state’ she was, and this made me think that here is (was!) a woman, who quite literally had it all and definitely was not a happy bunny. I guess it’s sad isn’t it? Money just doesn’t buy happiness! 

Congrats Ma'am

On a whim, last weekend I ended up in London for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations. In true British style, the weather was a shocker, but it was super fun and it was so great to see so many turn out to see the Pageant even in the horrific weather. The atmosphere on London was incredible with bunting and street parties everywhere and alcohol and picnics aplenty!

But most impressive of all was that the Queen and Prince Phillip stood and waved on their barge for about 5 hours. FIVE hours!! Now that is dedication. I was whinging and moaning for a Starbucks about 10 minutes after reaching our spot on the bridge..
I think that the weekend really showed the importance of the British Royals as they're a wonderful figurehead to have and truly sum up the British spirit. The fact that so many, young and old alike, turned out to see them despite the grim weather only reinforced this.
So thanks Ma'am for a wonderful four day weekend well spent and congratulations on your 60 years!

Living in a Daydream

Having recently read a great article that discussed all different forms of reality, it brought forward a little developing thought in my mind: what reality are we living in? Can we still actually distinguish between fact and fiction? This may sounds slightly odd and I know that Google haven’t actually yet launched their ‘augmented reality glasses’ but let me explain…

Take Facebook; the epitome of a ‘virtual’ Internet reality. Although the idea behind it is a personalized profile to communicate with ‘friends,’ this medium allows us to completely construct a (partially) fictional persona. Don’t lie, some of your photos will be edited (and those that aren’t, untagged!). I’m pretty sure that subconsciously we are fully aware that the comments we post on each others walls will be seen by at least 25 others besides the originally intended, and so the pressure to appear witty/effortless/interesting is on. You don’t agree? Come on, everyone knows if a comment really is only intended for the other person’s eyes it does so in the form of a private inbox…

 

Then there’s the very obvious and ever-present (constructed) reality show. Yes Big Brother was brainless, but at least what we saw was actually occurring in the Big Brother House! As much as I love the likes of Made in Chelsea I put money on the fact that although it’s marketed to us as ‘reality’ the scenes are about as real as my dream last night, in which I finally gave in to Ryan Goslings über persistent begging to go out with me. Shows like the X Factor are no doubt worse and are almost certainly more planned and scammed than anything else!

These shows then provide the opportunity for the rise of the notorious celebrity…in itself an immense facade of planned PR stunts. We think we know Lady Gaga? What’s her real name? And does she really like meat/Kermit dresses or does she know that by wearing them she’ll get press coverage? And you tell me that the delightful Kim Kardashian’s wedding wasn’t a publicity manoeuvre…a fictional fairytale.

Lastly, as much fun as it is to follow, fashion sometimes seems to be one big fictional visual. Most people by now know that pretty much all photographs that we’re presented with of models and celebrities are photoshopped. But what probably most people don’t know is that an H&M scandal was recently uncovered revealing their photo ‘models’ were in fact computer generated bodies with facial images attached. Very real. And let’s not even get started on cosmetic surgery…

In hindsight this article is probably very cynical and I sound like I’m generally very displeased with culture. Far from it! I love Made In Chelsea just as much as the girl next door (if not shamefully more), I think that the H&M models are super sexy and I obviously watch X Factor. (although only at uni. With a big group of people) All in all I just feel that it’s important that our impressionable and naïve juvenile generation with our unquenching thirst for knowledge and culture, remain aware of the broader picture! Even if our access to reality is based on fiction as Deborah Kests says, as long as we’re aware of that it’s all chilled!

a pause for thought

I’m currently writing two essays AND trying my very hardest to keep on top of current affairs, so that when I’m taking my well deserved 4 hour gossip/coffee break in the Hallward Café, I can avidly discuss who’s next to be hauled into Levenson or whether Germany will in fact ever recruit a president who is more capable in his job than my 10 year old cousin would be.

And it’s exactly in this mix of historical essays and current affairs that things get interesting. Yes, I admit, I have reached that stage of education where I actually find my subject interesting! (To be honest, considering it’s costing me £3,290 a year, I may as well.) Let me explain…

Presentation Work: The Profumo Affair: 1963

-       a British political scandal, where John Profumo, Secretary of State for War had an affair with Christine Keeler, the reputed mistress of an alleged Russian spy. He then denied it in the House of Commons but later admitted to lying and resigned. This was the first time that such a scandal was splattered all over the media and where the traditional British ‘cover up and carry on’ was completely abandoned…government and media conflict…

Essay 1: The Kinsey Reports

-       in the 60s, the American Alfred Kinsey released a couple of ‘sex surveys’ which showed that ‘scandalous’ and ‘unimaginable’ things such as petting and homosexuality were in fact very normal and common! HUGE tabloid coverage and intervention of ‘the establishment’…government and media conflict…

Essay 2: The 1968 Student Movement and generational conflict in West Germany

-       in 1968 the students of West Germany criticized their elders and the government, accusing them of still having fascist tendencies and urging them (through pretty radical methods) to confront this Nazi past and deal with the politics of memory.  There was obviously huge media coverage, but whilst some papers supported the government, others supported the students and some journalists and publishers were arrested…government and media conflict…

Current Affairs: News of the World Scandal

-       no need to elaborate here I feel, but yes, surprise surprise…government and media conflict…

George Orwell once very nicely said: “Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.”

 Sadly though, I feel that these examples pretty much just highlight that although Joe Bloggs may now read The Guardian on his super sleek iPads, the press mentality is still exactly the same. Just that now I can go and twitter about it.

Oh how Times have changed..?
(sorry)