22/07/2013

Monday July 22^nd 2013 was a pretty good day for me. Not only was it my birthday, but clever K-Mids and Baby-Cambridge (literally just announced to be called George) decided to reinforce the fact that it’s an excellent day for birthing. Congratulations Kate and Wills! I will now share my birthday with the future King of England*!

Their emergence from the hospital yesterday evening was pretty cute and they did indeed look rather happy. I did however, pick up on Wills’ comment along the lines of 'we've only just met him, this is a very special time' which I interpreted as ‘we’ve done out bit by showing you our baby, now please do your bit and give us some space and privacy!’ which I think is fair enough. I feel quite sorry for them and really do think that the media coverage is slightly excessive. Then again I think that certain articles such as this one are just unnecessary. I’m pretty certain that given the choice, they wouldn’t want any of this hype and they certainly haven’t asked for it. They simply want to enjoy some time with their newborn, like any brand new parents would! I think it would be wonderful if we could give them a bit of space, but also if people who are bitter / ‘pitying’ of the royals / whatever they want to call it, could just pipe down. If you don’t like the media frenzy, ignore it and go and read a good book. It will have died down soon enough.

*Not to put a downer on the mood at all, but wouldn’t it have been just a teensy bit more interesting if it had been a girl?! History would have been made, as she would have been Queen, regardless of brother or not!

100% of readers of this blog think it’s a cracker!*

Ah the power of marketing and advertising. Even though I like to think of myself as smart, uneasily influenced and resistant to glossy print advertising and super tv ads, I do sometimes find myself in Boots heading to the till with that super swish newly launched mascara that will definitely give me the ‘falsies’ effect – after all, ‘99% of users agree’!

It is 100% true, that most beauty product related ads aimed at females, have a strap line along the lines of “90% of testers” or “9 out of 10 testers” were overjoyed with the product, would use it again and even recommend it to their bff. Wow, must be a super product!

Indicating that 99% of testers were very happy to recommend the product sounds great. I immediately envisage masses upon masses of women all running to their local Boots to snap up said mascara. Then they’ll all run straight home and put it on and POW have fabulously fluttering lashes. Men will go weak at the knees and before we know it the likes of Sushi Samba, The Oblix and any other London venue du jour will be unable to process the magnitude in couples wanting a table for a hot date. I MUST have this mascara.

BUT what we don’t usually know, or wouldn’t even think to consider, is the number of ‘testers’ that were actually asked about the product. We all went through the painful and seemingly pointless process of learning all about proportions and ratios at school and now would be a good time to advocate that accumulated knowledge..! I remember once being suitably impressed with a strong endorsement for a new mascara; 93% of customers who tried said mascara loved it and thought that it was the bees’ knees. Pretty impressive, must be worth the money! Then I read the itty bitty details. The sample size of testers was 7. Yes, seven.

 

So obviously this is an exaggeration, but you get the jist. Companies are quite content with pulling the wool over the eyes of their poor, loyal consumers who perhaps don’t have a strong understanding of sample sizes and reliability… God damn it maybe they simply trust the brand!

When companies were originally forced to start disclosing the evidence for their sometimes amazingly abstract claims, the idea was for customers to receive the clarity they deserve. Now somewhere along the line, thanks to some sly marketing fox that is probably now giggling into his gold, this has gone walkabout. I think that perhaps it’s time to put the issue up for discussion… Even if companies are merely ‘encouraged’ as opposed to forced to use a reliable sample size, one company will hopefully do so and set the standard. Not asking for a lot here pals, simply some truth… I can’t afford all of these new mascaras!!

*Sample size: 1

Oscars 2k13

Sunday 24th February 2013:
*Jennifer Lawrence (aged 22 and a bit) won an Oscar for best actress and celebrated deep into the night. Wearing Dior.
*Lisa Neiss (aged 21 and a bit) watched a bit of TV and went to bed. Wearing spotty pyjamas.

At least Quavenzhane Wallis (aged 9 and a bit) didn't win. Go and play in the sandpit.

But no, I am no cynic.

The gowns were gorgeous and the dancing delightful. Charlize and Channing, I didn't know you had it in you! And Adele winning her little Oscar.. very much deserved! Oh and Jennifer Anniston in her Valentino. Valentino you god. Despite being the 85th ceremony, the 2013 Oscars were like every year.. fun to watch for the glitz, the glamour and the grandeur.

topshop.com

The beguiling fashion weeks: one of those happenings that the world watches with awe. At least I do. Or used to. There has been such a shift recently! Now the notorious fashion blogger sits alongside the powerful players… ‘frow’ A/W 12? “Bryan Boy” and Largerfeld side by side… Jealous, moi? (Perhaps a weeny little bit…) Fashion weeks are becoming accessible to the lay(wo)man. Even better than that? The lay(wo)man at home. Even in bed if (s)he so fancies.

In 2011 Burberry set the trend by sharing its looks via Twitter before the clothes even hit the runway! Then for the S/S 13 Diane von Furstenberg show, Sergey Brin (top dog at Google) was in the frow... Quoi? Somehow the line between expressing creativity and a marketing window at Fashion Week blurred a long time ago – Mercedez Benz Fashion Week, sponsored by Vodafone and sponsored a little bit more by MasterCard anyone?! Brin and DvF were wearing some terrifically techy ‘Glass by Google’ frames – glasses with a little camera and a monitor in the frame, just incase the world through your smartphone doesn’t look rosy enough. Some of the models were even sent down the runway in them (although DvF didn’t design them..). The footage from the cameras has been turned into a short film that myself and Joe Bloggs can watch from the comfort of our pyjama bottoms in bed. #streetstyle #bedstyle

But this season it’s trusty Topshop that’s going all dot com. (Anybody else remember when Topshop was in a league with New Look, Dorothy Perkins et al??) Their A/W 12 show is going to be projected across topshop.com, YouTube and Google+. Not only that, but supermodel supreme du jour Cara Delevingne (as well as model Jourdan Dunn) will be wearing HD micro-cameras fitted into their outfits, giving lucky me and Joe Bloggs a model’s-eye view of everything show related... right from the first step onto the runway, to the manic outfit change backstage. Now if those fashion horror stories are true, (think periods and no pants. EW) then I’m not particularly positive that I want to see that..!

 Justin Cook, Topshop’s chief marketing officer, (emphasis here on marketing officer…) has gushed that “consumers will...be able to buy the nail polish the models are wearing and click on the clothes to re-colour them and pre-order them. This has the potential for digital wildfire.” Digital wildfire it may well be Justin, but for me it also somewhat ruins fashion week. Shouldn’t the clothes be the central factor? Isn’t part of the appeal and the attraction of the shows that we as the lay observer DON’T have unlimited access? For me the shows are all about DvF’s impressive creations, or Jil Sander’s clean cut lines. I’m not too bothered about how many iPad Minis Cara can count on the frow and frankly I don’t wish to know whether the no pants backstage horror stories are true!

To be honest I’m not really sure where I’m going with this argument, but that’s ok... I don’t think fashion week quite knows where it’s heading either.

(Duh, I'm obviously still going to watch the whole thing... hashtagging away to my hearts desire with the rest of them!)

3 Things that I currently do that I don’t have time for

What the title says. Literally & metaphorically – make of it what you wish!

*‘Kimye’ – it’s fine, I get it, they’re dating and they’re happy. Oh and in case you didn’t know, they’re having a baby. Which I incidentally feel should be named ‘PR Stunt Kardashian-West.’ This poor child is going to be splattered across the media so much so that it’s face will almost probably become more familiar to me than my own reflection…while earning mummy and daddy Kimye sweet sweet $$$$$$s

*Bern: the picturesque capital of Switzerland. Idyllic, charming and endearing. Superb for shopping it is not, but nonetheless well worth a visit. Japanese / Spanish / American tourists or locals, all bumble along the cobbled streets or gracefully meander through the arcades, stopping to ooh and ah at the delightful displays of local artefacts in the windows… Here two worlds collide. I am an excessively fast walker, I have places to go and people to see.. But no-one in Berne seems to share my mentality! And the arcades are so narrow. So narrow! I can’t get past!

*The cold air makes my hands dry and look unpleasant.

It's a clear thing

As I was indulging in a small spot of blog browsing the other day, I stumbled upon a post that, I’m not quite sure why, really got me thinking. May I present the see through Hermès Kelly bag – Plastic Edition 1996.

Obviously no way near as wonderfully manufactured and fetching as the real mccoy, I still thought that this was so funny!

But let me quickly introduce the ‘real’ Kelly bag.. Hermès launched it in 1935 as the Sac à dépêches, but it didn’t become famous until 1956, when Grace Kelly (then Princess of Monaco) used one to hide her pregnancy from the prying eyes of the paparazzi. It was promptly renamed ‘The Kelly’ in honour of Princess Grace. The bag comes in a variety of sizes, with prices starting at $7,000 and easily trumping $50,000! It takes a single craftsman about 18 hours to make a Kelly bag, which can be customized to the buyer’s specifications.

Now a Hermès Kelly (or a Birkin for that matter – one much closer to my heart) is one of those über fashion classics that I’ve always dreamt of having. You invest a sum of money in an amazing bag ONCE, that will accompany you for the rest of your life and will never date. (Any Hermès bag in any condition can be brought into their ateliers, where it will be restored to pristine condition free of charge!) Bliss. It’s one of those pieces where I’m a firm believer that either you invest the money in the real deal, or you buy a completely different bag.

Nevertheless this plastic number really tickled my fancy. I must admit I don’t know the actual price that it was sold for, but I definitely would consider a purchase! I simply think it’s super fun!

But... Let’s think about this more seriously. Who’s more stupid – the consumer (Me!) or the producer (Mr Hermès)? The consumer is 99.9% certainly paying a LOT of money for, yarrr, some plastic in an iconic shape. Namely, the producer is a genius. They’ve managed to convince us that this shape is SO iconic and SO desirable that we’re quite willing to ignore the fact that we’re not really getting the quality, but paying the quantity.

Or is the producer stupid? Surely they’re ripping themselves off? They’re downgrading from the finest quality leather (if the cow has so much as a bee sting, the leather isn’t used) to, yarrr,, some plastic. It’s allowing the likes of Emma from next door to own a Kelly. Then again this is probably amazing publicity for a bag? Emma owning the budget bag, an ideal indication that the bona fide bag is for the beguiling and beautiful bag lady. I’ve lost the plot.

However the bottom line remains - I’d love this bag and I think it’s great!

Come Dine With Me

Now that I have a pad of my own, I figured that it was about time that I threw a swell dinner party. Obviously I’d have one for my friends and loved ones and I suppose family, but this, my friends, is my ideal dinner party guest list (of Brits only) along with a nice memo of why I’d invite them. Oh and please do note my consideration regarding numbers – one girl to every boy (seeing as I am a girl and will obviously be taking part, there must be one more boy than girl on the guest list).

The females

·      The Queen: this woman has pure class and is probably one of the most fascinating people to talk to.

·      J.K. Rowling: she developed Harry Potter (i.e. the greatest story / plots / concepts / characters of all time) and therefore I inevitably must meet her personally.

·      Adele: she is single handily taking over the world. (21 got 6 Grammys, 2 Brits and is the 7^th biggest selling album EVER in the UK and she’s singing the theme for the new Bond film Skyfall

·      Alexa Chung: my sister sometimes lovingly refers to me as Alexa. I guess we both have brown hair, a similar face shape and are both lanky. This (sadly) is where the similarities end. She has buckets of style and a Mulberry bag named after her. (One of which she’ll hopefully bring me as a house warming gift...)

The males

·      Prince Harry: he’s great.

·      Boris Johnson: I simply want to know what all the hype is about – is he really as down-with-the-kids as his clever PR wants us to believe? Or is he in fact as ‘commercial’ as various BBC articles have whispered? He definitely seems vociferous and dishevelled but there’s nothing shambolic about his mind or soft about his ambition... He also likes to chat in Latin over lunch. Thankfully not dinner.

·      David Tennant: yes, I used to have an odd little crush on him. When his Doctor Who put on his glasses and went all crazy clever I simply wanted to be there, hold his hand and say: Doctor, it’s going to be fine.

·      Stephen Fry: he is simply fantastic. I don’t even know where to begin singing his praises. Perhaps most usefully to the dinner party scenario is that he’s an incredible raconteur and apparently an exceptional after dinner speaker. (He also voices the Harry Potter recording, which I have spent many MANY an hour listening to…)

·      Ed Westwick: he’s originally from the UK! Shimply shmokin’ nuff said. Oh and Chuck Bass isn’t half bad either.