Wake me up!

I've come to the conclusion that, in the long and short, having a job simply means one thing - getting up at a certain time in the mornings...99.9% of the time earlier than one would like to. To make this as pleasant as possible, it's vital to start the day well. Yes yes, breakfast is mega important blah blah. But even before that, one factor plays a huge role in a morning routing. The alarm clock. Oh yes. This little friend is the one who tears you from your blissful slumber, awakens you from your pleasurable dreams and confronts you with the reality of your working day. What a little shitter.

To make this brutal awakening as bearable as possible, I firmly believe that one should be well acquainted with one's alarm clock and only use the best possible method. Should it really be your phone? I divulge..

The mobile phone - my go to favourite. Always on me, always a safe bet. Word of caution: it would be wise to use an 'alarm tone' rather than a song/MP3 file. If I use a song and then hear it during the day, my body goes into shock. True story.

The mother - a gentle awakening..perhaps a kiss, perhaps a cup of tea. Aaaah. Then again it makes me want to say "Mummy I can't go in today, I feel sooo poorly!"

The wake up light - from the likes of Philips etc. Claims to 'imitate the natural waking up process through sunlight' and often accompanied by technological tweeting of birds. Way too freaky.

The classic - I got given a really cute Snoopy alarm clock when I was about 12. It was one of those really old-school kinds with the bells on top. Sooo retro. When it went off I nearly pooped my pants and had a heart attack. It is now decoration only. (and obviously tells the time...)

Therefore my advice? None of them are pleasant, but it's probably safest to go with your phone alarm. Realistically you'll have it on you anyway. Oh and place it on the opposite side of the room, then you physically have to leave the bed to turn it off.

Guten Abend, gute Nacht...

After some blasé dabbling in the delights of Insomnia a while ago, I would like to say I’ve moved on to bigger and better things. Those of you (yes my dear sister I mean you!) who put your head on the pillow and fall asleep immediately, well that’s great for you, well done. Go and have a cookie. For the rest of you insomniacs I advise a mug of hot milk and honey; an old wives tale it may be, but boy does it work!

As a child I was ALWAYS the last one asleep at sleepovers and my parents stopped checking up on me before going to bed because I’d still be awake anyway. So it seems Insomnia and I were a match made in heaven…however I’d like to take this opportunity to publically announce our split. I haven’t looked back since. (touch bloody wood)

Before I continue basking in my stronger-than-ever-free-woman-glory, I’ll give all of you still suffering, some advice on how you too, can break free from this tiresome (sorry…) relationship.

 Exercise. Remember that sleeping is to recover, so if you’ve done absolutely nothing all day, what’s the point in recovering? Obviously you don’t HAVE to do this…a day of lectures/working etc is equally tiring!

No caffeine. NO caffeine. If you have an afternoon lull, a banana is cracking.

 An hour before bed, stop working and turn off the TV/laptop…read a magazine, have a hot bath, play some music…chiiiiiill…

Don't try and nap during the day

 Read a couple of pages in bed of something you enjoy.

      This one is the most important: if you can’t sleep, who cares?! Don’t stress about it. I know it’s easy to say, but if you don’t sleep tonight, tomorrow will still happen! Yes it probably won’t be as peachy as you’d hoped, but you’ll get through it and panicking will just make everything SO much worse. Put on an audiobook and just lie there and listen…the average Harry Potter is about 7 hours long and you can download it from iTunes whilst in bed.